Boredom is a beautiful thing!

picture by doegox

I’m bored!  We’ve all heard this lament from our children.  I’m here, fellow parents, to assist you with this very challenging issue causing enormous social problems in our western culture (and beyond).  How are we to keep our children entertained in this world of ever-advancing media and technology?  The short answer:  We don’t.

With so many families in developed countries having multiple televisions in the home, a host of computer games, and personal digital media, our children have never been so stimulated in the history of society and culture and our family life has never been so impoverished!   Who would have thought things like: in-car DVD players, iPods and iPhones would come to be considered necessities of modern life; something to pacify the kids while we make that long drive across town?  We ask the heavens, how did previous generations ever manage without them?

While I’m not usually one to swim against the social current - our family watches TV just like everyone else - I often feel the need to assert some strict boundaries for the sake of our family values.

How can a family glued to their personal media-of-choice ever hope to become skilled at communicating with each other?  How can an individual with a constant stream of noise or information delivered directly into the ear or eye ever hope to consciously participate in the world around them?  How do we learn to tune out the chaos without plugging into a technological isolation chamber? How do we use all this wonderful technology to our betterment?

Actually, if I had the answers to these questions I wouldn’t be blogging about it.  I’d surely have a best-selling self-help book that parents would be buying in droves.  No, I acknowledge that it’s something of a conundrum.  Our family exists in a pendulum swing between loving our MTV and hating it.  Having had the big screen and home cinema experience we now keep the projector in the cupboard and the TV in a closed cabinet.  That means the screen must be small enough to fit inside the cabinet.  Out of sight, out of mind.  Bigger isn’t necessarily better.

As best we can, we maintain a routine that incorporates TV as reward; it is turned on after homework or housework is complete.  If I can model an I’ll watch TV after I finish my paperwork  routine that will hopefully reinforce the message.  No morning TV/computer games and no extended periods of screen time, whether it’s TV or computer or gaming device.  Yet I still catch myself using the TV to contain the kids for a spell while I get some things done uninterrupted.  I still find myself reading and writing for endless hours at the computer - it’s what I do!  But the children don’t understand that it’s work, not play.

We routinely have ’screen-free days’ where neither computer or TV are turned on at all.  Instead, if we’re indoors, we can play board games and do craft.  Still, the children will nag.  “When can we Mum?” and I catch myself again, giving in just to have some peace and quiet.

And what satisfies the older children is unlikely to be appropriate for the younger ones.  My youngsters have seen concepts that I would never have let their older siblings view at the same age.  I have to be vigilant.
And on those screen-free days even I catch myself wondering what resides in my inbox and whether I should address it more urgently?

Yet, after a couple of days of no TV or no computer, we all feel lighter, more connected, less anxious.  We have time for the boredom to set in and a little boredom is truly a beautiful thing!

When the TV is off the kids play more imaginatively, more independently or more co-operatively.  They build stuff, make stuff, and help out around the house.  They read books, they make believe and they go climb trees in their dress up costumes.  But first we have to get through the withdrawal from stimulation; the I’m bored!s, and the inevitable rivalry that erupts as they adapt and return to a natural rhythm of play.

It’s unlikely our family will ever be completely, permanently screen-free.   Media now is such a big part of modern life and culture, to completely disconnect would be a social and learning disadvantage.  As my children grow up and take charge of their own lives they will have to figure out how to balance media with everyday life.  Hopefully they won’t be so terrified by boredom that they can still turn it off and walk away when the urge takes them.

November 26th, 2008 - Posted in parenthood, play, community | | 5 Comments