Debt-free (very nearly)
picture by f2b1610
Quality of life and personal growth go hand in hand with financial stability. We can’t live on a negative or subsistence income, with no emergency fund, compounding more and more debt, and also compounding the stress and in-authenticity that goes along with that lifestyle.
Add to that the fact that women tend to be less financially literate than men. Well, we do tend to make the daily spending decisions for our families, but we also earn less compared to men and have interrupted careers due to having and raising babies. We also tend to work in more casual and part-time jobs that see us ignoring or under-paying superannuation, yet having to make those meagre savings stretch because we live longer! Famed Aussie financial advisor and Chairman of the Financial Literacy Foundation Advisory Board, Paul Clitheroe, wrote in his 2008 report Financial Literacy - Women Understanding Money that while women tend to be good at budgeting and saving, they lack confidence in their ability to manage money long term and plan for their retirement. I count myself in that category too. When my husband wants to talk financial planning my eyes glaze over and I hear blah, blah, blah. It is only through his persistence that I dare to blog about it now.
Yep, money is a biggie, and I’ve blogged about it before. I’ve come a long way and we now live very nearly debt-free and there is real peace of mind in knowing that no matter how bad the economy gets, we have a roof over our head and a means of sustaining our family that, excluding natural disaster, cannot easily be disrupted.
For us, it all began at the age of twenty-one, with a one-week money diary that helped us identify just how much we were spending on takeaway food, alcohol and entertainment! Once we identified the imbalances and discerned luxury from necessity, it became possible to pare back, reallocate our money and define some goals.
We knew what we wanted. We were about to get married and even though my dad was old fashioned enough to want to pay for the wedding, we had to finance our own honeymoon and start saving for a place of our own. In 1992, with a combined 38K income, a 150K mortgage for a dilapidated fixer-upper in inner-city Brisbane was well beyond our means - yet doing the sums now, if we’d found a way to stretch, we’d have made a very tidy profit indeed! But we were risk-averse, and so was the Department of Housing, our first lender at a whopping 13% interest!
We settled on a run-down 110K flat on the wrong side of the tracks that wasn’t stretching our purse too much. That price looks quite ridiculous now that the area has boomed into a yuppie cafe district, but the 100K flat still isn’t worth much more than we paid for it. It has been a fabulous renter though, and a financial stepping stone, since any asset, in the eyes of the bank, renders us credit-worthy.
Within six years of that first budget we had achieved our goals: to buy some motorbikes (clearly luxury items), have a decent honeymoon (for a whole $2000 - it was a lavish expense then but the motorbikes were part of the adventure), pay off a sizeable chunk of the mortgage, and to travel overseas. It was time to reassess and set some new goals.
We decided it was time to tenant the flat and find a humble 140K suburban home where we could start a family. Suddenly things like life insurance, wills and appointing a power of attorney took priority, along with obtaining adequate household and car insurance, maintaining car payments and superannuation - not to mention all the usual bills and living expenses. For some time it felt like we were standing in the flow of a waterfall with a sieve, trying to catch our entitlement of water before it cascaded over the cliff. The budget was tight, but fortunately we’d beaten our bad habits to keep a tight reign on the spending. All our debts were manageable and paying them got us slowly, slowly, closer to our goals. They are Americanisms but these days people talk about snowballing and snowflaking as a means of managing their debts. That’s how we did it and we haven’t looked back.
We’d never previously been worthy of the fantastic plastic but suddenly the bank was our friend and we used credit cards to streamline our finances. Putting all our living expenses onto a credit card made them easy to track and budget on a monthly basis. It also enabled us to reduce the number of transaction fees which the banks had introduced, and prevent over-use of the automatic teller machine and cheque book. There was also the added bonus of accruing mileage points on money we would be spending every month anyway. Nothing like a free holiday! Of course, the essential part was to pay the debt in total at the end of every month. This method worked really well for us, though it may not suit everyone. Naturally, the first step is to completely free yourself of credit card debt in the first place, but because we never let the debt accrue, we knew exactly how much we were spending.
So with tenants paying off the last of the mortgage on the flat for us, and by pouring every last cent we earned into our domestic mortgage payments, which could be redrawn if required, we began to make significant headway. We utilised automated bank payments as much as possible so that utility bills could never be forgotten and damage our credit rating. In 2005 when we accepted my husband’s overseas job transfer and sold our house, which in four years had appreciated more than twice the purchase value, our debts were comparatively small and the bulk of the revenue was ours to turn over to a block of land where we dreamed about building our future family home. Selling a few well-timed investments allowed us to go ahead and build that dream home and pay out the mortgage in full, in next to record time.
So here we are today, nearly forty and happily debt-free - or very nearly. We still have car payments and we have a negatively geared investment, neither of which impact on the security of our home and both liquid enough to off-load in a hurry if our situation should suddenly change for the worst. But we have achieved the stage where we have enough and need nothing more to live well. We don’t have the very best or latest of everything (as much as I’d love to buy that Dyson!) but what we do have serves our purposes perfectly, without want, or envy, or excessive waste. We still put money towards investments, and the kids’ trust funds, because it’s wise to have a contingency plan. And I no longer shut down and tune out about money. Which is why I’m prepared to bare all in a blog, in the name of HERevolution.
June 28th, 2009 - Posted in gratitude, partnership, consumerism, sustainability, beliefs, wisdom, money, self-care | | 4 Comments
The forgotten women’s movement 2
picture by potarou
Supermodel and actress, Cindy Crawford did it. Singer, Nellie Furtado did it. Aussie journalist, George Negus and his partner, Kristy, did it long before that. Author Stephen King and his wife, Tabitha, did it. Scrubs star John C. McGinley and his wife Nichole, did it. Kate Cebrano did it. Actor couple, John Travolta and Kelly Preston, did it. So did Demi Moore and Bruce Willis. And what about Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes? Pamela Andersen and Tommy Lee did it. Meryl Streep did it too. Lisa Bonet and Lenny Kravitz did it, Jade Jagger did it, musician Kenny Loggins and his wife did it, so did actor Michael Landon and his wife. Val Kilmer and his wife did it. So did Woody Harrelson and his partner!
Rikki Lake did it, and turned it into a world famous documentary!
But it’s about to become illegal in Australia.
Homebirth Australia is holding the Mother of all Rallies at 11.30am outside Parliament House in Canberra on September 7, 2009. If you can’t be there you can invest $25 in a cardboard cutout to represent you at the rally. It’s certainly cheaper than a domestic flight, and more convenient too!
If you read this blog then you’ll already know how passionate I am about childbirth choices so please take the time to sign this e-petition to Save Private Midwifery and home birth choices in Australia.
I also urge everyone to watch the media and take the opportunity to voice your genuine opinion about what lies ahead for women’s choice. Whether you’d choose to birth at home or not, isn’t the issue. We can’t deny that choice is an essential ingredient to women’s comfort and coping skills in childbirth. A variety of literature on home birth from countries such as New Zealand, the UK and the Netherlands suggests home birth is as safe as birth anywhere else. Yes, Australia’s track record could improve, but removing a fundamental childbirth choice won’t make birth safer and could make it more dangerous for women and their babies.
June 26th, 2009 - Posted in personal growth, parenthood, community, health, self-care | | 0 Comments
Domestic Haiku #16
sunshine perfume
in the pockets of
my winter coat
June 25th, 2009 - Posted in haiku | | 0 Comments
The china cup on the bathroom shelf
picture by wendylefkowich
Happy solstice! Here in the southern hemisphere this means the day is shortest, the night is longest and after tonight the sun will appear on the horizon that little bit earlier, the sun will set that little bit later and the plants in my sub-tropical garden will begin to gather more and more vigour with the lengthening days.
It’s a tangible event on the calendar, not an arbitrary celebration like Easter or Christmas. Noticing the solstice is about acknowledging the cycles of nature and that makes it one of the few rituals and traditions an atheist can authentically groove on. Cycles of the moon and the seasons are observable, predictable and worthy of some life-enhancing ritual.
This year solstice means a new moon, and a new moon, on very personal level, means it’s my ‘moon time’. For those who are sensitive about discussions of a personal nature, that’s a euphemism for my menstrual cycle; menses, period, bleeding, that time of the month. If you don’t want to read about it, best click the BACK button now.
I have already shared how I made the switch from disposable feminine hygiene products to sustainable alternatives and I’m proud to say it has been more than four years since I’ve bought tampons or ‘panty liners’ (this expression makes me laugh, ‘cos I don’t call underwear ‘panties’ anyhow, nor do I call pads ‘liners’). I’m still using the same menstrual cup and the same cloth pads and discovering a new, ritualistic pleasure in my moon time.
See, four years ago, I would never even have called my period, my moon time. But my feelings have somehow softened towards that time of the month, and I can now find some honour in slowing down and giving my body and mind a mini-holiday each month. If I can, I spend a day or two at home, lounging with a good book, doing domestic rituals like baking and cleaning out cupboards. And because it is a slower, more receptive time, I find creativity takes an upward turn. Now and then I’m even inspired to write, or sing or devise a haiku about it. Cycles really put us in touch with nature and humanity. After those two days at home, my own vigour returns with the waxing moon.
The lidded china cup on the bathroom shelf has several jobs, simplest of which, it is the place to keep my menstrual cup when not in use. During my period when I’m using the menstrual cup, the china cup becomes the holder for soaking the cloth pads I sometimes use as well. It feels much nicer being able to roll up the simple hemp soakers, put them in the china cup with some water, pop on the lid and replace it on the shelf until I can rinse them out later in the shower or laundry and let dry. I can then wash them with the rest of the laundry, as usual.
And the china cup is much more discreet. No one has ever peeked under the lid out of curiosity, like they have with the less hygienic plastic containers I used before. When the week is over I can sterilise both the silicone cup and the china cup simultaneously by topping with water, replacing the lid and boiling it for several minutes in the microwave. Once finished, I let it cool until it is safe to handle, tip out the water and let it all dry quickly while still warm.
The lidded china cup on the bathroom shelf has become a part of the ritual celebrating my menstrual cycle. Visitors who use our bathroom assume it is there just because it’s pretty. Well, it is pretty, but it’s also the keeper of my feminine secrets and it makes my moon time more sensual and inspiring.
Dedicated to Kylie D who, after learning about my china cup, went out and got one for herself.
June 21st, 2009 - Posted in gratitude, consumerism, sustainability, ritual, beliefs, wisdom, health, self-care | | 2 Comments
The forgotten women’s movement
picture by henna lion
Holy smoke! I’ve just returned from doing my shift on the information stand hosted by Maternity Coalition at the Brisbane Pregnancy, Babies & Children’s Expo.
Regular readers may be aware of my past activism in pregnancy and childbirth reform in Queensland. You may also know about the recent Federal budget giving access to Medicare and Pharmaceutical Benefits Scheme and indemnity insurance for midwives next year. It’s not yet where the birth reform movement wants to be, but it’s a solid foundation.
As much as I like to think we’ve come a long way, it only took a few hours talking to the public at the Baby Expo to learn that women are still being stripped of their rights and choices every single day. And even worse, they don’t realise it at all. They all think their experience is just the way birth is.
“My midwife said I needed the epidural so I said OK, then she gave me a sedative and I went to sleep. They had to wake me up to push.”
“My doctor won’t let me have a vaginal birth. He said the baby’s too big and that makes me scared.”
“I’ve already had two caesareans. I really want a normal birth but it’s too late now.”
“My husband’s in the army and he has to leave for duty for six months the day this baby is due. I just want to be induced a week early, before he leaves.”
“I can’t even think about doing all that again. I’m not ready!”
“I’m booked for a caesarean on Tuesday but I’d like to try for a normal birth.”
“I didn’t know anything. I just wasn’t prepared for the reality of birth.”
When women come to us in advanced pregnancy, is it too late to give them specific information without their asking for it? Is telling them their real choices going to help or hinder their immanent motherhood? Uncomfortable truth and resultant stress vs Negligence and potential harm. Rock vs Hard place. Hmmm.
On the plus side, synchronicity was working in my favour and I managed to buy some cheap slings for my friends who’ve just had babies. I also finally got my hands on a copy of Kerreen Reiger’s Our Bodies, Our Babies: the forgotten women’s movement and I can’t wait to snuggle down under my doona and start reading about where this all began.
June 19th, 2009 - Posted in personal growth, parenthood, community, grief, beliefs, health, self-care | | 3 Comments
