The power of Thank You
picture by T. A. Joseph
Doesn’t matter whether we personally need to be thanked for things we do, we still appreciate it. Even if the typical answer is, “no problem” or, “you’re welcome” that tiny acknowledgement has the power to save relationships. I have learned the hard way.
I used to convene a community group. The volunteers were all women, new mothers with very young children and babies, often with another on the way. Of course, that described me too, and I suppose, blinkered by leadership, I thought we were all motivated by the same things. Our little group was so damned productive, really we did great things together, so I figured we all obtained some kind of satisfaction inherent to the task itself and none of us ever yearned for that pat on the back, that “well done” or “thank you” that lubricates the engines of a small group of people working in synergy.
Inevitably, there lay my downfall and probably the most significant lesson in my life to date. People thrive on positive words, gratitude and warm feelings. Our little network of very busy, sleep deprived, yet highly motivated new mothers gave and gave and gave of themselves. But rarely did I think to acknowledge their contributions and achievements. Over time we all moved on, most of us feeling quite spent by the experience. Thanks to Facebook, most of us can keep in touch, but I feel a strange emptiness, that what was, is no more, and I do wish I had taken more time to thank everyone for their hard work and friendship. It really was a pivotal time in my life. Hopefully for others too. It is nice to see the community group still thriving since my own sisterhood stopped having babies and moved onto the next stage of life. I do miss them sometimes.
Now I’m more proactive about acknowledging the initiative of others, including my husband and children. I realise it doesn’t matter whether someone is expecting to be thanked or not. If they are, I can fulfill their expectations. If they’re not, I can pleasantly surprise them with those little words that cost me nothing, but seem so generous.
And in more general terms, I can use the energy I generate with those thank you’s to cultivate a gratitude mindset that touches every aspect of my life. For several years I kept a gratitude journal - something that seemed frivolous and self-indulgent when I started it (about the time I was involved with the above community group) but that ever so gradually improved my outlook on life, love and family and gave me access to a mental state, a flow, that was so healthy and life-affirming.
I want to write more on gratitude later. But for now I just want to put out there a big THANK YOU to those women (and their families) whom I probably never fully thanked for their contribution to the community group way back when. And THANK YOU to those of you who read this blog, even if you don’t offer comment. I hope there is something here for you.
February 14th, 2010 - Posted in personal growth, gratitude, happiness, ritual, beliefs, wisdom | |
4 Responses to ' The power of Thank You '
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on February 14th, 2010 at 10:12 am
Thank you too Jodie.
cheers Kate
on February 15th, 2010 at 12:56 am
You’re welcome.
x
ML
on June 9th, 2010 at 8:29 pm
Wonderful post. Thank you for sharing
Forgot to ask
…where in the world are you?
Melor
on June 9th, 2010 at 8:45 pm
I’m in Australia! Thanks for reading!