Becoming real
picture by svenwerk
Yes, I did delete the Fallout post. I realised I don’t need to indulge in navel gazing to feel integrated. ‘Noticing‘ was a worthwhile exercise but let’s get back to NOW: the only moment I have any ability to alter.
I’ve spent the past eleven weeks doing an emotional purge using the classic book Julia Cameron’s The Artist’s Way as a guide. I’ve been doing it online with a small cluster of friendly writers and artists. Some aspects of the course have been wildly successful. Others have not met my expectations (is that the author’s fault, the cluster’s fault, or mine?). However I’ve learned some good habits through the process of writing morning pages and keeping artist dates: rituals I intend to maintain after we finish the course next week. Rituals that any person can adopt to better integrate life and living, even if you don’t call yourself an artist.
Maybe it is a typical reaction to doing this kind of course, or turning 39, but in my fortieth year I’ve decided to take a lifestyle stocktake. I’m cleaning out the proverbial cupboards of my life; purging what no longer fits; what is old or worn; what is cluttering my mental and physical spaces. This process of evolving flows like the tide and currently I’m at a low ebb.
We’ve just been through an unusual rainy spell in Queensland and grey fuzzy mould is threatening to swallow the undisturbed corners of my home. It’s a clear metaphor for how my lack of attention has let the bad habits creep back over the past year. Exactly when did I start pouring an extra drink at night? When did I start skipping breakfast? And eating all this sugar? Domestic coffee machines - there ought to be a law against them! How did this once-spartan home get so full of clutter? And where did my regular yoga and meditation practice go?
Last November’s little break down gifted me a wake-up call. I had allowed my stressful circumstances to corrode my lifestyle just like the white fuzz growing on the disused leather goods at the bottom of my closet. Since then I have got those bad habits ‘under control’ but they still lurk in the background like a shadow. Be prepared for me to exorcise some of my ’shadows’ over the coming weeks.
This was a good time for me to have undertaken The Artist’s Way and, after the course finishes next week, I can continue to use artist dates and morning pages to stay authentic and honest with myself.
April 26th, 2009 - Posted in personal growth, ritual, wisdom, health, self-care | |
4 Responses to ' Becoming real '
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on April 28th, 2009 at 1:37 pm
I am intrigued about this… and once again you have blogged something that I feel I could have written. Good luck with the purge, I look forward to sharing this journey with you. I will be checking out The Artists Way too, once I have my internet connection sorted…again.
PS. I too have an unhealthy dependence on my coffee machine.
on April 28th, 2009 at 3:53 pm
Definitely do check it out Shereen. And better still, do the course with a group. I’m getting ready to do it again as I can now see the value of a lot of the exercises I skipped when I did it the first time. I continue to learn!
on April 29th, 2009 at 12:56 pm
[…] While I blog about people who’ve shaped me, forming new habits and ways I’m indulging myself, real life keeps ticking on in the background. It feels remiss of me not to mention what is happening so here’s a bit of an update: […]
on January 29th, 2010 at 12:17 am
[…] Then last year I did Julia Cameron’s The Artists Way via an online working group, which further challenged my thinking about work and career and life in general. I suppose I came to trust my instincts a little more, to let myself feel instead of having to intellectualise everything - as I am wont to do. […]